It's amazing how many different forms of love there are. I have been so blessed this past year to have so many people love me, and more... to love so many people. Yet each love is so different in so many ways. It is sad that between some, we are forced to choose. It is sad that this society has made it so. It is sad that loving someone can be seen as wrong, as a crime. It is indeed very sad. For love, love is everything needed in life.

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This is a post I made in a discussion thread about same-sex marriage. It seemed appropriate to put it here.

My ideal situation would be that the government stayed out of the marriage business all together. And the civil union business. To me, it's too personal, too important, too meaningful, too spiritual, for it to be bound by a written law, to be decided my government authorities. Seeing as I'm a fan of a small government, I simply don't see it as the governments place to give the title of Husband and Wife to people. I see that as the place of two individuals, to give each other that oh so meaningful title (or whatever deity, if that's your thing). But, unfortunately, that's not the way it is. The government will never give up it's right to give out the title of Husband and Wife. It will never give away it's right to proclaim whether two people are married or not. Considering that, I have to ask myself what can be done about the current situation, which I see as unacceptable.

I have a serious problem with the fact that two people, who love each other, can be denied the title of Husband and Wife, or Wife and Wife, or Husband and Husband. Other people have mentioned all the benefits that come from marriage, the technical benefits, like tax breaks and such. But for me, it is the value of being able to say "I'm married" and "This is my husband" that matters most. I don't know what I would do if I wasn't allowed to be a wife. Do I think that that is a choice that a majority has the right to decide? Absolutely not. This country is NOT a rule by majority. And this is an issue that I believe should not be decided by majority vote. I believe that because this is a civil rights issue. It's about fundamental rights, the right to love, the right to bind that love with the word Marriage. That's an important word. A word everyone in this nation has a right to, a claim to. This is a deeply emotional issue, but I'll try to address it as objectively as I can, though I won't pretend I can be truly objective. What we need to do is get rid of a biased, exclusionary, discriminatory definition of marriage that is prevalent thoughout these states. We must remove it if we want to continue to claim this is a country of equality, and of freedom.

There are many different "definitions" of marriage in this country. Everyone holds a slightly different one. The question becomes, what should this government hold? And how do we decide that. In my opinion, even those who view the only "true" definition of marriage to be that between a man and a woman, even those who think homosexuality is a sin, have a duty, a responsibility to vote for a definition that causes no harm to anyone. As voters of this nation, it is not our job to be moral police, it is not our job to prevent sin. Rather, as voters of this nation, it is our job to ensure the greatest freedom for EVERYone, as long as it doesn't infringe upon the rights of others. Tell me, how does a same-sex marriage infringe upon someones rights? How does it cause harm to anyone? You may see it as a sin, you may see it as disgusting, as dirty, but does it hurt you, does it limit your freedom? Unless you can answer yes to that question, I see it as your duty to allow same-sex marriage. Not to approve of it, but to allow it. This isn't a question of some "true" definition, because each of us has a different one; rather, this is a question of a definition of marriage that won't cause harm to anyone.

Unfortunately, the majority in this nation doesn't see things the way I do, don't see their duty the way I do. And so some rights are being denied to people. People are being denied the right to call themselves a wife, or a husband (along with hundreds upon hundreds of federal benefits). Therefore, this has become a civil rights issue. People are being discriminated against, therefore it's a civil rights issue. And since it is a civil rights issue, the courts now have every right, every responsibility, to make a decision on this issue. The have the responsibility to ensure that everyone in this nation has the same right to the title of Husband, and Wife.

Many terms have been redefined in order to ensure equality in this nation. It's time we redefine marriage once again, to ensure equality, to stop discrimination.

The Re-definition of Race in the US.
For quite a while in the US, if you had a single drop of “colored” blood, you were not considered white. Regardless of your skin-tone. The one-drop rule meant that if you had a single non-white ancestor, you were not considered white. At the time, this meant you were a second class citizen. Over time however, the lines of race were blurred, and moved altogether. Today, you race is dependant almost entirely on your skin tone, not your ancestry. This was more of a social change than a legal change, but it was a very significant one. Entire lives could be changed depending on the definition of white and black and multiracial. Yet our society changed the definition. These are not things set in stone. They can change. There is no absolute right definition.

The Re-definition of Citizen in the US.
Originally, in the United States, a citizen (meaning one who has the right to claim citizenship, and the rights that come along with it, including the right to vote) was defined as a white male. The definition then changed, so that a black male was considered 3/5 of a citizen. Later, the definition evolved once more so that a citizen was either a male, regardless of race. Even later, the definition evolved again so that a citizen included not only males but females as well. The definition of a US citizen has evolved through time. And never has this evolution occurred because of the will of the majority. This evolution has always occurred within the judiciary. The Courts were the ones to make this decision. Because, unfortunately, the majority cannot be trusted to hold equal rights for all, and it's never been given that right. Making sure everyone has equal rights, that none are being discriminated against has always been the job of the Judiciary.

The Re-definition of Marriage in the US.
In 1883, the state of Alabama declared that marriage was the union of a man and a woman of the same race, in Pace v. Alabama. Interracial marriage was legally seen as an oxymoron, because marriage, by definition, couldn't be interracial. The majority in this nation agreed with this decision. The majority in this nation didn't want a white boy marrying a black girl. It was dirty. It was a sin. Luckily, the Supreme Court didn't let the majority decide. Luckily, in 1967 the Supreme Court reversed it's decision. In the case of Loving v. Virginia the Supreme Court wisely declared that only allowing marriages between two people of the same race was violated the 14th Amendment. But it took 80 years. 80 years for the federal government to do anything.

It's time to continue this positive evolution of the term marriage. It's time to ensure that the term is used without discrimination. It's time to ensure that the definition of marriage cannot hurt anyone. Not to ensure that it's "correct", not to ensure we use the "true" definition. The government has never concerned itself with truth, not when everyone has a different idea of the true definition of a word is. Rather, the government should be concerned with the limitation of individual rights. In this case, the right to marry. The government should ensure that no one is being hurt, no one is being limited unnecessary. And the only time it is necessary to limit someone is if that limitation is needed to protect another person. But same-sex marriage doesn't harm anyone. It doesn't limit anyone's rights. Maybe some people think it's a sin. But ya know, some people still think interracial marriage is a sin. That's not a reason to not allow it. Sin or not, it doesn't hurt anyone, it doesn't limit anyone's rights, and so it should be legal. This isn't a question of MORALITY, it's a question of RIGHTS. The governments job is not to prevent immoral acts. Thats an individual's job, a family's job, a Church's job, God's job. Not the governments.

It's time our courts take one more step forward. It's time they stop this injustice. It's time we stop hiding behind an outdated definition of marriage. It's time people stop trying to be moral police. It's time this country takes one more step towards equality and freedom.

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Steal. Vulnerability. Death. Pain. Grevince. These are things I've learned about. These are things I've seen. These are things I CANNOT accept. I cannot accept how out world treats the exceptional. I cannot except how much pain is caused to those who deserve nothing but love. There are few people in the world who are truly marvelous people. Very few. And these are the people we marginalize. These are the people we punish, we torture, we tease. These are the people who go home and cry about how mean this world is. About how horrible a place this world is. WHAT ARE WE DOING????

How could we, as a people, be so heartless. How can we, as a people, care so little about love. I am ANGRY. I will not put up with this. It is WRONG. WRONG WRONG WRONG. I am furious that a person I love and care about is being denied the basic affirmations of life. I am furious that a person I care about must hide, out of fear. And worse, accept that that is simply how the world works. I am furious that some people have to put up with such crap, such utter bullshit, while the undeserving get anything they want.

I have been so blessed. I have never had my rights taken away. I can work where I want, live where I want, marry who I want. Love who I want. I've been given money to go to school where I want. I've been given a bed to sleep in. I've been given food to eat. I've been given friends to talk to. I've been given a family to love. I've been given a man to love. I've been given shoulders to cry on. I've been given the freedom to disagree. I've been given the freedom to scream, SCREAM. Yet what have I done to deserve such things? Nothing. I've been a good little girl. I've followed rules. But I've done nothing noble, nothing exceptional. (This isn't meant to put down myself, don't read it that way).

And the people who have done exceptional things. The people who give, instead of given, those people are the ones we deny. Those people are the ones we say are unworthy. Those people are the ones we are scared of. We are scared of greatness in others. So we put it down. We smash it. We trample greatness, because we are afraid of not measuring up. We deny those most worthy everything they deserve, and give it to those who are unworthy. I AM SO ANGRY. I am fuming inside, and crying on the outside. Tears are running down my face, and fires are being lit within me. I will not put up with this any longer. I will not stand for this. I must do something, do something now.

I don't know what to do though. I cannot see what path to follow. I am angry, I want to cause change, but I don't know how. I've thought for a while I could do political change, but I've come to the realization that it's social change, not political change, that is needed now. Maybe I should do some social change. I'm thinking of telling this my story at school. I don't know if I'll get approval. I want to though, I think it would be good. Maybe I'll ask for approval at some point later. Because I need to do something. This cannot go on. We cannot keep doing this to people.

This is happening because people don't see. They ignore what they don't want to see, they put up shields and don't look beyond themselves. This is unacceptable though. Absolutely UNACCEPTABLE. I've never been this passionate in my life. I've never felt this way before about anything. I will not accept the status quo. I will not pale in the face of the battle before me. I will not accept that I cannot do any good. I WILL do good. I WILL fight. I WILL cause change. I WILL improve the situation. I WILL make this world, this nation, a better place for the exceptional people, the wonderful people, the people that deserve to be on top, to be followed, to be mentors. I WILL. My determination gives me hope. My inability and refusal to accept anything less than success gives me hope. My goals may not be reached in my day, but I will make a step, I will help others to make a step. I will not simply sit back and watch with tears in my eyes and in my heart. The tears will be there, but I will be doing something about them. I will be fixing things. I will be fighting. I have chosen my battle ground. I have chosen my side. It is the side of love, of friendship, of honor, of justice. I am ready to act. Because our current state SHALL NOT BE ALLOWED TO CONTINUE.

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