And the moon grows dimmer
At the tides low ebb
And your breath comes faster
And you're aching to move
But you're caught in the web...

----------------

Nobody can tell ya
There's only one song worth singing
They may try and sell ya
Cause it hangs them up to see someone like you

But you've gotta
Make your own kind of Music
Sing your own special song
Make your own kind of Music
Even if no body else sings along

You're gonna be nowhere
The loneliest kind of lonely
It may be rough going
Just to do your thing's the hardest thing to do

Make your own kind of Music
Sing your own special song
Make your own kind of Music
Even if no body else sings along

So if you cannot take my hand
And if you must be going
I will understand

You've gotta
Make your own kind of Music
Sing your own special song
Make your own kind of Music
Even if no body else sings along

----------------

My foundations
are in the universe
my spirit is universal
despite all pressures against me
to choose sides
black or white
man or woman
gay or straight
I am still a child
and an old woman
my blood is red
my choice is not to choose
I cannot choice
I am the exception to the rule of choice
I am one and all without exception
I defy the rules
I am me.

----------------

Sweet little cherry blossom,
blooming before her time
Moving her lips to her favorite song,
cherishing every rhyme
Swaying her hips to the rhythm,
humming along with the tune
Lost in her own little dream world
Slow dancing with the moon

Watching her I cannot help,
but go back in my mind
And suddenly I find I am 15 again

Slow dancing with the moon
Oh, the stars got in my eyes long time ago
And I've lived my life like a love sick clown
In a bittersweet cartoon
Just a dreamy eyed kid
Slow dancing with the moon

Watching the girl I'm reminded
she's quite a lot like me
Trapped in the suburbs of wonderland,
lost in her own fantasy
Somehow my heart never grew up,
no one ever burst my balloon
So here I am swirling in star dust,
slow dancing with the moon

Still believe some day my wildest dreams
will all come true
And I'll find someone who'll
make me 15 again
But until then I'm
Slow dancing with the moon
Oh, the stars got in my eyes long time ago
And I've lived my life like a love sick clown
In a bittersweet cartoon
Just a dreamy eyed kid
Slow dancing with the moon














































































































































































































Sunday, April 03, 2005

God fucking damn it. How does he make me do it. How does he make me say and feel things I thought were saftely locked up inside of me. How does me make me say things I didn't even know I felt. I had kept them so hidden I forgot I was hiding them. God damn it. I hate this part of me. I wish I could go back to my high school self where I knew how to turn off caring. I knew how to say no, I will not feel this way. No, I will not be sad. I wish I was still able to do that. It's so much better to not care at all then to let all the pain in. At least I wish I could still keep it hidden. Keep it from coming to the surface, coming out. I wish I could forget about my past. Forget about everything that I gave up. Forget everything that I was. I thought moving away did that. I thought getting out of that damn state would make all these memories go away. I should of known it was a fools errand. I am hopelessly and endlessly tied to my past. I can't get away no matter how hard I try. I can't get away from all the fear, the anger, the pain. But worse, I can't get away from all the joy I know I once had. I loved, just loved, so much. And I gave it all away for a god damn fucking whim. A fucking whim that is now failing miserably. Mainly because I'm giving up. Story of my life: giving up. I do a real good job of giving up. God fucking damn it. How does he make me feel these things. How does he get in where even I can't get.

brynnlee let the night fall at 9:32 PM

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